Today is my mom's birthday. I am going to do the gift-giving a little differently this year: this year I am giving my mom the gifts of gratitude, acceptance, acknowledgement and love. I have held back on one or more of these gifts for the past 30 years, I think it's time. Here is the letter I sent to my mom:
Dear Mom,
This year for your birthday I am giving you four gifts: gratitude, acceptance, acknowledgement, and love. I hope they fit. I hope you like them. I hope you already have them. I hope you can always use more. I have spent plenty of time telling you the things you did wrong the last 39 years, now I want to tell you what you did right.
Gratitude
Thank you Mom for my childhood. Thank you for surprising me with a canopy bed and matching dresser. Thank you for attending all my band concerts and soccer games. Thank you for staying home with me during my 100+ bouts of strep throat. Thank you for taking me on emergency "Mom! I don't have anything to wear tomorrow!" shopping trips. Thank you for my adulthood. Thank you for buying my first set of dishes and towels. Thank you for buying my wedding dress. Thank you for attending my wedding and giving me away. Thank you for believing in me when I said I wanted to go to law school, medical school, be a computer programmer, a personal trainer, a teacher, and now a writer. Thank you for ooohing-and-aaaahhhing over my new house(s). Thank you for baking chocolate chip cookies for me when my daughter was born. Thank you for helping me leave the house in Cincinnati and move forward to Toledo. Thank you for not breaking down when I told you about the brain tumor. Thank you for staying up all night, every night, with me in the NICU after my brain surgery. Thank you for not looking away from my scarred, shaved head. Thank you for introducing me to Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer. Thank you for imbuing me with a deep spirituality that transcends Catholicism or any organized religion. Thank you for sharing your love of nature and Mother Earth. Thank you for introducing me to Karen Drukker's music. Thank you for giving me my first Janet Evanovich books. Thank you for understanding when we moved to Massachusetts. Thank you for being my mom.
Acceptance
I accept you Mom, exactly as you are. What ever relationships you have, with whomever you choose, for however long they last, they are fine by me. I accept your parenting. I accept your friendship. I accept your grandparenting. (I'll even accept your chocolate chip cookies, if you're offering them, though that is really another letter...).
Acknowledgement
Your parenting, your personality, your genes, and your spirituality have helped to shape me into the person I am today and will be tomorrow. It is from you that I inherited my spirituality, my love of laughter, my silliness, my ability to budget, my sense of responsibility and work ethic, and my appreciation for fine chocolate. (You also contributed to my unibrow, but again, that's another letter...).
Love
I love you Mom. Happy Birthday!
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4 comments:
I have no words, but I do have tears in my eyes. That was beautiful- on so many levels. Thank you for sharing abundantly...
I know it is totally lame, but...I ditto what Deb said.
wow.
Triple Ditto (and Rush Limbaugh isn't even involved in this topic) :-)
Sometimes the best way to move forward in relationships of any nature is to just accept it for what it is or who they are.
As flawed beings in a flawed world, even our best isn't good enough but acknowledging the effort, the time, the attempt can not only be cleansing but quite revealing.
I both commend you and thank you for showing your soul to your readers. In some way, it not only touches but can aid those of us with acceptance and forgivenes issues in our own relationships. God bless!
Everybody already said all of the good stuff above. So let me just say this...YOU ROCK!
Love, Cathy
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