This blog chronicles my life as I try to balance healthy lifestyle habits with my husband's penchant for pizza rolls and my daughter's desire to watch iCarly 8 hours a day. It contains a mostly humorous, kind, and somewhat spiritual look at everyday life and the people who live it.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
I have substitute taught, a job I loved, but the erratic schedule drove my family crazy.
I have volunteered my little heart out which is definitely work, but somehow still I have felt unfulfilled.
I have considered going back to school for everything from my master's in education to a degree in physical education so I can be a personal trainer.
I just didn't know what I wanted to do...
...So I prayed about it and waited and worried about it and waited and forgot about it and then the phone rang: "Beth, are you available to teach kindergarten for at least 4 weeks starting Wednesday?"
"We realize that you don't have a teaching certificate or even a substitute teaching certificate but you are background-checked and we are desperate!"
"Ummm...I um guess I um, well yeah! I'd actually love it!"
"Wonderful! You start Monday with a conference but you'll need to get your classroom in order because after the conference is orientation on Tuesday and school starts Wednesday."
"Okay!" I get off the phone. The reality sets in. What have I done??
Well, I've leaped again, that's what I've done. This is another leap of faith in a long line of leaps, jumps, and hops and I'm sure this one will turn out to be (like all the others) exactly the right thing to be doing at the right time.
I'm scared, though. Nervous. Intimidated. And very, very excited.
I love kids this age and I love being in the classroom. So here I go: 1, 2, 3 JUMP!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Then, after the surgery I returned to veganism but found myself feeling afraid, shaky, and nervous most of the time. I didn't realize at the time that I was dealing with what a lot of people who have had a surgery deal with - a kind of post-traumatic-stress-syndrome where you know the immediate danger is over but now begin to ask the big questions about long-term survival. I found that I seemed to feel less shaky when I ate bigger, fuller meals and that quickly led to meat and then finally even to some dairy as well. I gained weight. I felt okay. I began to get the regular assortment of colds that most people consider normal - though I had not had a cold the entire time I was vegan. My allergies kicked in to high gear.
A year went by. Then two. Three. Four years later here I am feeling awful. I have joint aches, I have had several colds/sinus infections, I feel heavy, lethargic, and old. I kept wondering what should I be doing that I am not already doing? I exercise. I eat a very balanced diet of fruits and veggies. I am active with friends and happy in my marriage and family life. Why don't I feel well? While walking yesterday it hit me: it's what I eat. I think that some people's bodies just aren't really made to digest animal products. Specifically I think my body doesn't digest them well.
The first time I went vegan it was like throwing a switch: one day I was eating pepperoni pizza, the next day I wouldn't eat anything made with animal products. That approach works, but maybe there is a more balanced approach that I can take this time around. I simply won't prepare any foods containing animal products for myself when I am at home. I always ate whatever I was served at people's homes and I will continue to do that but this time I won't be such a pain when we go out to restaurants. This time I will allow for gray areas such as butter or eggs. I'm going to try it. I think a month's worth of time is a reasonable test period and I'm going to see how I feel. My theory is that the joint aches, stomach aches, and heaviness will be gone. I'll let you know.
Either way it's going to be good for me to dissociate veganism from a brain tumor. It's good to process all those feelings and put them in perspective. It's good to look forward to eating again because what I am eating feels right to me.
Glass of soy milk, anyone?