Green Tip Tuesday: Cream of Tartar

Cook with it, clean with it, make it yourself in your vineyard...

On any given day do you have to clean a stubborn stain from your tub, discourage ants in your yard, and whip up a delicious meringue?  Yep, that's my life too.  Luckily I have cream of tartar in my spice cabinet because it can do all three.

Cream of tartar mixed with hydrogen peroxide to form a paste is an invaluable stain remover.  It can be used on tubs to get rid of hard water and soap scum.  I used to use the 'scrubbing bubbles' to combat our super-hard-water and my husband's affinity for Irish Spring.  The can looks cute, but the smell gave me a headache, the chemical cocktail makes me cringe, the packaging is not recyclable, and it was never really thick enough to stay where needed on the side of the tub.  Plus I always felt a little nervous bathing my daughter after using such a variety of toxic chemicals.  You won't have any of those problems with cream of tartar and hydrogen peroxide.  They're dirt cheap too.  They're also perfect for removing that brownish-tinge my sink gets after tapping off my excess mineral makeup day after day.  You can even use water mixed with cream of tartar to form a paste to remove a laundry stain.  It all comes down to chemistry: you need an acid (like cream of tartar, lemon juice, or vinegar) combined with a base (water, baking soda, hydrogen peroxide) to create a chemical reaction.  As the base molecules absorb the acid molecules they release a lot of hydrogen molecules.  It's this process that dissolves a stain.  Commercial cleaners aren't doing anything different to dissolve stains they are simply using more corrosive (harmful) acids, adding in a lot of unnecessary (and harmful) additives to preserve the mixture, add fragrance, make it foamy, and oh yeah, charging a lot more too.  If you mix up the chemical reaction in a fresh batch you'll actually get quicker results.  (And Mr. Ruehl my sophomore chemistry teacher, I really wish I'd paid more attention to you instead of mocking your goggles and playing with the Bunson burners).

Ants don't seem to like cream of tartar at all so if you get tired of picking your lemon peels up off the ground to prevent ants, try sprinkling cream of tartar around the outside of their ant hole.  (I can't seem to make that sentence not sound a little bit dirty...)

And how about that tasty lemon meringue pie?  Your poor meringue would never stand up without the stabilizing effects of cream of tartar!  It turns out that you can even make your own baking powder by mixing baking soda and cream of tartar together.

And where does this little miracle acid come from?  Well I'm glad you asked because it turns out that cream of tartar is a naturally occurring byproduct of fermenting grapes.  Scrape out the wine casks and you have cream of tartar.  Drop that little gem of trivia at your next wine-tasting party why don't you!

My toothpaste is controlling my mind...

Bad guy: "Sorry officer, but I just had a big glass of water and so my judgement was really impaired!"

Mom: "Son, go brush your teeth, then go get a job!"
Son: "Okay Mom, but once I brush my teeth I'll have no motivation and will lack the mental faculties to handle basic decision making."

On this very blog I frequently promote ingesting one of the most toxic and damaging chemicals found in our world today.  I can't help it, it's essential to life, will clear your skin, heal your headaches, and without it you are probably going to die within 3-5 days.

I promote drinking water.

But is there fluoride in your drinking water?  In your toothpaste?  In your canned soup?  In every product that has 'water' listed as an ingredient?  If I was asked to estimate my vitamin C intake I could do a pretty good job.  If asked to estimate my sugar intake I could come within a gram or two of my daily consumption.  If asked to estimate my fluoride intake I wouldn't have any idea.  Was the water in my shampoo fluoridated?  Was the water used to wash my 'washed and ready to eat' salad fluoridated?  How can I quantify my exposure to a toxin that is put directly into the drinking water in most places in the United States, added to my toothpaste, and has been approved as a pesticide in organic farming!

This is the scoop on fluoride: the Germans  used fluoride during World War II when they placed it in the drinking water of their prisoners of war because fluoride made the prisoners so docile.  Now there are different types of fluoride.  Pharmaceutical grade fluoride is what appears in our toothpastes.  This type of fluoride does have a good track record in reducing tooth decay when applied topically to the teeth.  There is no evidence that fluoride taken internally does anything but harm the body.  Another type of fluoride is what is put into the drinking water.  You don't really want to know where this comes from, but I'll tell you anyway so sit down because this is going to be gross: the fluoride in our drinking water is a by-product of pesticide manufacturing.  They scrape the fluoride "sludge" from the inside of the smokestacks and truck it to the nearest water treatment plant where they dump that sludge right on in and call it public health practices.  I kid you not, you can look it up here (type fluoride in the search bar).

So here are my suggestions: I try to limit my exposure to fluoride on a couple of levels.  First I am lucky because my part of Massachusetts does not have fluoride in the water.  I have a fluoridated toothpaste and a toothpaste without fluoride and I alternate between the two.  I like the Tom's of Maine mint toothpaste without fluoride and the Burt's Bees toothpaste with fluoride. In both cases you get good taste without high fructose corn syrup and/or silica which is in a lot of other toothpastes.  I take Calcium and Magnesium supplements to counter the effects of fluoride in my body.  I don't use fluoride rinses or allow the dentist to give them to my daughter.  I buy vitamins that do not contain a fluoride supplement (many do, you have to read the ingredients). 

There are filters you can buy that filter the fluoride out of drinking water.  There are letters you can write to city officials petitioning to get the fluoride out of your city's drinking water.  There are panic attacks you can have wondering what all this fluoride is doing to your body.  You could mix up your own batch of baking soda and salt with a little peppermint extract thrown in for flavor.  I think the most important thing is to be aware of what fluoride is and how it may be affecting you.  Baby steps, always baby steps.

And if you're ever in Massachusetts, stop by!  I'll give you a glass of filtered, refreshing, unfluoridated water.  I'll even throw in an organic lemon so you can lose a few pounds...but that's another post...

Just Massage it Right into Your Brain

When I lived in Toledo, Ohio I faithfully had my hair cut by Bill at Creative Headlines.  Having Bill cut my hair meant having Bill wash my hair and believe me when I say: you will never regret nor forget having Bill wash your hair.  First he would ever so gently recline your chair and put up the footrest.  Then he would work the warm water all through your hair.  Already you are feeling 5 years younger and kind of forgetting you ever had troubles.  Just when you're thinking "could this get better?" It does.  Bill lathers up with some wonderful smelling salon shampoo and begins to massage your head.   Your neck.  Your temples.  He works the lather all through your hair, kneading, massaging...whooo, is it getting hot in here?  Then he would rinse.  Then he would take conditioner and start the whole sensual process over again.  By the time he was finally done you are 10 years younger and in love with the world.  Don't worry if you are too relaxed and limp to walk under your own power to Bill's chair, he's very strong and will carry you to his station if need be.  He's used to that response.  Finally he will place a fresh towel around your neck, cover you with a cape and he's ready to begin the cut.  He gives a good haircut, but really?  Who cares?  Just let him wash your hair and you'd forgive him a terrible cut.  If you're ever in the greater Toledo area give yourself a treat, book a haircut with Bill.

I tell you all this to emphasize the importance of a fantastic hair washing experience.  Though I frequently practice Speed Bathing, I do make sure that once or twice a week I really take time to pamper myself and that means warm water, yummy smelling shampoo, and fluffy towels.  I do love me a good lather, and that used to mean sodium lauryl sulfate which irritates the skin, reduces the skin's immune system capabilities, and can enhance tumor growth.  Do any of those things sound good?  Then I found Nature's Gate Organics.

This shampoo smells fantastic, lathers beautifully, contains no harmful, irritating, or carcinogenic ingredients, is not tested on animals, and can be bought at almost any grocery or drug store.  Buy it at the grocery store and you may feel a little sticker shock (it costs $7.99 here in Massachusetts) or save a little money and buy it from here  for $4.91. 

I don't use this shampoo all the time.  When I shower at the gym I carry plain ol' Pantene 2-in-1 shampoo+conditioner in my bag.  If I run out of organic shampoo I keep an emergency bottle of Pantene in the linen closet, just in case.  (Pantene doesn't have any health benefits to my knowledge, I just like it.) 

I try to reduce my exposure to chemicals and acknowledge that I will still have some exposure, sometimes a lot.  Sometimes I use Pantene, Secret deodorant, and eat Doritos all on the same day.

Just not every day. 

My challenge to you: perhaps you could occasionally use an organic shampoo or conditioner.  Maybe you could try using a baking soda paste as a remedy to product buildup instead of a harsh clarifying shampoo.  If you don't want to switch your shampoo then try turning down the temperature of your water.  The cooler the water temperature the more 'closed' the hair shaft and the pores in your scalp, the more protected you are from chemicals.  Bonus: your hair will be shinier and you reduce your carbon footprint.

Oh, eat some Omega-3s and green leafy veggies too.  And have a great hair day.

Green Tip Tuesday: Using Vinegar in the Laundry

I really like doing the laundry.  I like sorting the clothing by colors, it appeals to my sense of order.  I like remembering to rescue all of my favorite fitted T's or comfy sweaters from the dryer because it makes me feel like I am top of my chores.  I love the warm, clean smell of clothes fresh from the dryer.  My laundry "room" is really just a closet in my daughter's bathroom.  I don't have any fancy shelving or cabinets.  My washer and dryer are serviceable 11 year old Maytags.  I have absolutely no lighting in the closet, and almost no storage.  I always say that someday my laundry room will look this one, but right now, not so much.  I even love putting away all the fresh laundry because we (finally) bought a dresser last year and there is enough room to put everything away properly.

I began investigating "greener" laundry detergents about  5 years ago when my friend Chellie bought her new front-load washer and dryer.  The purchase came with a few years of free servicing and Chellie, who is good at remembering that kind of stuff, scheduled the visits.  The woman (!) who came to service the appliances complimented her on how clean her machine was after a year of constant usage.  The technician attributed the condition of the appliances to Chellie's commitment to not using petroleum-based detergents.  I am embarrassed to say that I honestly didn't realize that my old favorite Tide was a petroleum-based detergent!  I like to reduce our exposure to (and dependency upon) petroleum so I started using the Seventh Generation line of laundry products.   I still do use the laundry detergent, but let's face it, those products are

expensive and not always widely available, so I searched for something else to use as a fabric softener.  That's when I discovered vinegar. 

Vinegar is the perfect fabric softener.  It removes soap residue, freshens the load, brightens colors, whitens whites, and causes no harm to the environment.  My washing machine has a large center cup for adding fabric softener so I add 1/2 cup of white vinegar and about 8-10 drops of lavendar essential oil to each load.   The clothes smell great, they are soft (even the towels and jeans) and it costs about half of what Downy costs.  I buy Heinz white vinegar at the warehouse club in a 1.32 gallon jug for $3.99 and it lasts about 36 loads of laundry. 

The great thing about vinegar is it's versatility.  I can spray it directly on my workout clothes to remove sweat stains and odors.  I can run it through my machine with hot water to remove any musty smells in the washer.  I can spray it on stains to help them dissolve.  I can combine it with baking soda and really whiten socks. 

Perhaps if you have some vinegar in your pantry you could try adding it to just one rinse cycle, just to see if you like it?  Or put some in a small spray bottle and very lightly mist shirts you are about to iron.   I like using products with which I can create dressing for salad, scour my coffee pot, and clean my clothes.

Be green, your socks will get whiter.

Better Hair Days, Guaranteed!

I have had several weeks of really good hair days in a row, which is unusual for me because 1. I have very fine, wispy hair that curls up in back and on one side; and 2. my hair was so sensitive to "critical drying time" the time by which it must be blown dry or the whole style was lost that if the phone rang and I missed my drying time the hair day was a bust. I have not gotten a weave, clipped in extensions or even used a 'Bump-It', instead I believe I may have stumbled upon a tip for consistently good hair days so I am sharing my vast wealth of hair knowledge with you today:

(Keep in mind I only have experience with fine, wispy hair that curls up in the back and on one side so you may have different results!)

First I must rave again about the fantastic results I received when I tried New Stylist Lisa's home remedy for product buildup: wash hair, condition hair, while still in shower shake about a palmful of baking soda into your hand. Now for the critical part: very carefully add water to the baking soda to form a paste. The first time I tried this I simply backed up into the shower spray and quickly dissolved all my baking soda and thus had to start over again. Once you have a paste spread it all over your hair concentrating on the top (because let's face it, most of the product you use ends up on the top of your head), and smoothing down to the hair ends. Let that sit on your head while you finish washing and shave your legs, armpits, back, chin (oh, nevermind, you're probably not a Yettie like me...). Rinse thoroughly. Condition your hair again, but very lightly. Rinse. You're done. You only need to this step maybe once or twice a year.

Now for the crucial styling step: towel dry your hair and then blow it dry upside down just 'til its damp. Dampness is critical because if its too dry your gel will make your hair limp and look weighed down. If your hair is too wet the gel will get too watered down and not be effective enough. Once your hair is damp squeeze a dime-sized amount of gel in your palm and then mush your hands together 'til the gel is all over both palms. Now flip your head forward and run both hands through your hair from roots to ends starting at the front and working your way to the back. Now you're ready to blow dry/style your hair.

I love this method because I don't have to wait for my hair to "air dry" enough to be ready for gel, nor do I end up with my hair too wet for gel application. Blowing dry my hair the first time upside down adds volume but then adding the gel adds control.

To finish: spray the heck out of your hair with hairspray. This is no time to worry about fumes, the environment, or chemical exposure - just shellac that hair in place. I use an organic shampoo and conditioner figuring that my hair spray usage cancels out the lack of chemicals in my shampoo thus creating moderation.

And y'all know how much I love moderation...

Where Have all the Graces Gone?

Somehow my 52 Graces have only amounted to 25 actual postings of things for which I am grateful. That's okay, I'm good at playing catch-up (though I don't know if even my grateful self can think of 24 things for which I am grateful right now...)

Grace #26 Air Travel
Air travel is quick, relatively efficient, and statistically the safest way to go. There is always something interesting going on at an airport and always someone interesting on the plane. When I want to go someplace I want to arrive NOW and air travel is my best bet to make that happen. Airplanes bring our loved ones to us and, perhaps more importantly, they take them back home when we are just DONE!

Grace #27 Warehouse Clubs
I recently had a party for a large group of people and warehouse club shopping made my life a lot easier. I know many jokes are made about cans of olives that contain 112 servings, but let's face it, when you have a lot of people it's easier to buy one large can and perhaps a few servings left over, than to buy 16 little cans. Better for the environment as well. Besides our warehouse club, BJs, doesn't just have food -- it has everything! It's a feast for the eyes everytime I walk in. TVs, jewelry, clothes, gadgets I didn't even know I needed, Oriental rugs, vats of shampoo -- they're all just waiting to be put into my extra-large cart. I am drawn to their book tables like a magnet then after spending oh, say 20 minutes perusing the books I like to move on to the clothes, which takes about another 15 or so. By the time I have finished with clothes Steve is just about done in TVs and computers so we meet up to look at gadgets and food. It's retail marital bonding at its finest. Beth and Steve plus BJs equals true love. See why I'm grateful?

Grace #27 Baking soda
Yes, I am that crunchy granola that baking soda has made it as a Grace. I have always used baking soda as a natural alternative to scouring powder, in the laundry, in a pinch as a deodorant, for baking, for volcano making, and as a poultice for bee stings. Recently my new stylist Lisa (we'll talk about her in our next Grace) even had me put baking soda in my hair. Cheap, environmentally friendly, safe for pets and kids, easy to use, and with no harmful side effects. (And available at BJs in a 5 pound bag!) I love baking soda!

Grace #28 Lisa, my new stylist
Stylist? Hairdresser? Salon Technician? Hair care professional? I'm never exactly sure what is the politically correct term, I just know that I love the way Lisa does my hair. As part of my year-long-quest to find a good stylist I have been to 6 different salons, including an at-home-in-the-basement-stylist-whose-towels-smelled-like-mildew, and I hadn't really found a fit. Lisa gave me my first haircut in over a year where I didn't emerge looking a little shorn and defenseless. Lisa is also the only stylist to tell me that with fine (read: thin) hair like mine I should make a paste with baking soda (!) and water and spread it on my hair 2 or 3 times a year to prevent product build up and increase shine. I have spent thousands of dollars on hair glazes, shine gels, and clarifying shampoos over the last two decades only to have a 22 cent home remedy actually work the best. Thank you Lisa, you rock at hair styling and I am grateful.

Grace #29 Facebook
I know my sister-in-law is having heart palpitations reading that Facebook has made it as a Grace (and I'm not even scraping the bottom-of-the-Grace-barrel yet!) but I had done something terrible and Facebook is enabling me to attempt to "make it (somewhat) all better." Almost a year ago a friend of mine in Colorado emailed me about a lump in her breast that turned out to be cancer. She ended up having a mastectomy. I was very worried for my friend and exchanged many emails with her prior to her surgery. I was very caught up in the drama of my own little house-finding-debt-reducing-new-friends-making life at the time and didn't send any flowers or cards to her during or after her surgery. I didn't get any follow-up emails from her after her surgery and time went by and I meant to email but didn't because I felt like an ass for not sending any flowers or cards and now look how much time has gone by and now I really feel like an ass and why isn't she sending me an email update and Dear Lord what if she died?

That's where I kept getting stuck. Next thing I knew it was July and I hadn't heard nor contacted my friend since her surgery in February and now I was afraid. What if something had gone wrong? What if she died? Do I send an email and her husband reads this email coming some 4 MONTHS AFTER her surgery from a "concerned" friend and now he has to explain how my concern is touching but just a little too freakin' late? Then one day in November inspiration struck me (yes, now a full 9 months after her surgery and I'm still angsting because I'm still behaving like a spineless ass) and I thought "what if I look her up on Facebook?" So I did. And God takes pity on spineless fools and so she happened to be on Facebook too and apparently has a very forgiving soul because she accepted my friend request and even asked for my address so she can send a Christmas card. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been able to reconnect in such a cowardly way. I fear that I may have done nothing. I fear I may have let cowardice, fear, and procrastination take over and let 2 years, 5 years, a lifetime go by all because I felt bad for not sending a card. Flowers. An email for God's sake! Learn from my mistakes, grasshopper. The road to hell may be paved with good intentions but there also may be some technology redemption.

Grace #30 Keurig
Last year for Christmas Steve bought himself a new-fangled coffeemaker that used little individual sized serving cups to make fantastic coffee. He bought a Keurig. I balked at the price. I balked at him buying himself another Christmas gift. I balked at the environmental impact of creating all that waste. I balked at the precious counter space that would be taken up in our then-pint-sized-kitchen. (I use the term "balk" Steve uses the term "bitch", just so you know). In the past year I have since changed my mind about the Keurig. No longer is Steve buying coffee every morning, afternoon, and evening from Dunkin' Donuts or Starbucks. No longer is he drinking coffee at home but complaining about it because it tastes burnt or bitter or old. No longer am I buying Chai Tea Lattes from Starbucks (which, located in Barnes&Noble, means I then have to buy a book or five...). Our ridiculous coffee-chai-book spending is reduced by 99% all because of that little Keurig. AND there is a re-usable stainless steal cup that totally environmentally friendly! What a Grace!

Grace #31 Aeropastale
How can an over-priced poorly made tween/teen clothing store make it to Grace status? Well I'll tell you: Aeropostale is not-overpriced if you're willing to give up your email address because they will send you coupons, coupons, and more coupons in addition to their regular, big sales. They are not poorly made compared to their competition and frankly in our new global economy I have changed my defnition of poorly made anyway. However, those reasons are not what elevated Aeropostale to Grace status: Aeropostale makes it as a Grace because Aeropostale is well-lit, the music volume is bearable, and they don't have half-naked salespeople hanging out the entrance trying to solicit, well I'm not even sure what they're trying to solicit. When our daughter graduated from Gymboree Steve and I were a little stuck as to where to buy her "special" outfits. We drifted in and out of Children's Place, Gap Kids, and Justice through her 8s, 9s, and 10s, but now, at almost 11, our daughter's taste is changing. She is closer to being a teenager than she is to being a little kid. I don't want her to rush her childhood. I don't want her dressing like a 16 yr-old when she's only 11. I also want her to have some freedom to choose her own style. Aeropostale is the perfect compromise. Aeropostale is trendy, hip, and they put their logo on everything so she looks cool to her peers. Abercrombie and Hollister are clearly out right now: they are too dark, the music is booming, the perfume is cloying, the unisex-extremely-dark dressing rooms are a little too suggestive for my taste, and the salesguys/girls that routinely stand just inside the doorway with (for the guys) their shirts completely unbuttoned or OFF and (for the girls) their 3 layers of button down shirts unbuttoned just 2 buttons too many and worn clearly without a bra -- well again, I'm not sure what they're selling, but I know I don't want my almost-11-year-old buying it. Thanks for turning up the lights and turning down the music Aeropostale, you earned yourself Grace status.

Grace #32 A wood burning fireplace
For the past decade I have lived the good life: I pushed a button on a remote control and like magic a beautiful fire appeared before me. No fuss. No dirty logs. No smoke. No matches. I didn't see a downside until we moved here and with our first properly-drawing-chimney I see what I was missing with gas: No sound. No connection. No woodsy-smell when you walk outside. Steve described it perfectly when he compared watching a gas fire to watching a football game on TV and watching a wood fire to being at the game. It's the connection. With our sealed-gas fireplaces we watched through a window. We were removed from the process of starting the fire. We were removed from the process of watching something burn. There is something buried deep within my DNA that just loves a real fire. Dirty logs, yep we have 'em being delivered on Tuesday. Bugs? Quite possible. Smoke, oh yeah, I'm not claiming to be "green" on this Grace. Still a Grace? Yeah, it is.

Grace #33 Snow
I am a little scared to drive in it. I am usually poorly dressed for walking in it. I don't always like the accompanying cold and I despise shoveling it. Yet I love snow. Snow is falling right now as I type and how can you ever have a Christmas in New England without snow? I hope it keeps on falling right through the holidays. Our mountains look beautiful, the trees are glistening, the Christmas lights look magical and our daughter is having the time of her life sledding down our backyard. I will probably be singing a different tune in January (perhaps I'll be "balking" a bit?) but for right now I'm in the spirit and I say Let it Snow!

Grace #34 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
I am not cool so any reference to pop culture in my blog is always coincidental, probably not timely, and certain to have at least one error in it. With that being said, I have been harboring a private love for the show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia for years. The show is politically incorrect, the characters are even more shallow and neurotic than my favorites in Seinfeld, and the dialogue is liberally peppered with profanity and downright hilarious slang. It's one of the few shows on which Steve and I can agree and watch together so it's a marriage bonding experience every Friday night (the show is on Thursday but it's on late so we TiVo), and the show never fails to entertain. Warning label: you need a sick sense of humor and virtually no political correctness to fully appreciate this show. Something that makes me laugh every week with my husband, now that's a Grace.

Grace #35 Such a Pretty Fat
Jen Lancaster's book Such a Pretty Fat was the most fun read I've had in a year. The book arrived one day in a box of books sent to me by my devoted reading friend Deb (you remember Deb, made me do this blog?). I shouldn't have started the book when I did because I was supposed to be cleaning/preparing the house for a big dinner party I was hosting in 2 days, but it was on top in the box, the title immediately intrigued me, and once I started it I couldn't stop reading and I couldn't stop laughing. I kept making deals with myself: if I go to the 3 grocery stores necessary to buy all the supplies for the party I can read for 2 hours. If I do Jen justice and work out for 2 hours this morning I can read for 1 hour this afternoon. If I survive cooking for 10 people with my limited culinary skills, I can read 'til I finish the book.

The deals paid off, the party shopping was accomplished. I worked out on schedule. I survived the party. I finished the book. Jen shamelessly promotes her other 2 books (Bitter is the New Black and Bright Lights, Big Ass) throughout the footnotes of Such a Pretty Fat and so I of course feel it necessary to reward that behavior by going out and buying those books and her latest Pretty in Plaid (hey, at least I won't need to buy the chai latte!) because I want Jen to keep on writing. Don't have her books? Visit her blog at http://www.jennsylvania.com/ or your nearest bookseller and maybe even treat yourself to the chai latte, yes?

Be prepared to laugh until your abs hurt (which tones them!), a definite Grace.

Grace #36 Brie en Croute
It's hard to believe that a vegan who is allergic to dairy can wax poetic about an appetizer featuring brie, but I am a diverse blogger and besides since when have I truly "waxed poetic" about anything? Let us return to this "big dinner party" about which I have been hinting in several past Graces. Steve thought it would be nice to invite his 4 direct reports and their spouses to our home for a casual holiday party. I thought it would be nice too, until I realized that it was me that was expected to cook said dinner for said party. My culinary skills are somewhat limited, shall we say? Anyway, commence with invitations he did, so commence with decorating, angsting, cleaning, angsting, shopping, angsting, menu-creating, angsting, and cooking I did.

The menu I created was really a menu Deb created for me and I was going to present as my own and that was the menu I was sticking to until 3 days before the party when Steve casually mentioned that half the invitees were vegetarian. Armed with this new information I decided pork loin was out and fire roasted vegetable ravioli was in. I threw in a hodge-podge of appetizers, salad, and bread and called it dinner. Once again Deb was forced to wrestle my menu down to manageable (read: palatable) selections, and I was set. Amidst all this menu-wrestling my neighbor happened to mention that she makes a fantastic brie appetizer whose name I couldn't remember but she'd make it for me and deliver it on said night of party. Score!

Day before party: I go shop at BJs for said fire roasted vegetable raviolis. Uh-oh. They don't have them. I don't panic, remember how diverse I said I am?, I simply buy the butternut squash raviolis instead (and all of you stop being aghast that I am buying frozen ravioli in bulk for my main entree). I was planning on a simple red sauce but now with the butternut squash in stead of the fire roasted veggies I am thinking cream sauce. But what if people don't like cream sauce or aren't expecting a cream sauce knowing that I will break out in hives and probably soil myself should I consume the cream sauce? What about pesto? Does pesto go with butternut squash? Oh screw it, I buy all 3. Deb kept saying "keep it simple and classy" which sounded great on the phone the week before but wasn't translating well while I'm panic shopping at a warehouse club. I buy an olive tapenade. I buy a bag of holiday M&Ms. I buy a bag of Hershey's miniatures. I buy meatballs. I buy 10 whole cloves of garlic to roast. I buy spinach, cranberries, walnuts, mixed nuts, enough carrots and celery to feed the state of Massachusetts. I buy bagel chips, Wheat Thins, Sociables. I buy cream cheese, cranberry-orange chutney, Tuscan simmer sauce, olives, and cheese. Steve and I go out that night and buy enough alcohol to create 8 different martinis (our house signature drink, we decide), apertifs before dinner, and Irish coffee after.

Day of Party: I go to an Italian bakery and pick up the assorted pastries tray I have ordered for dessert. I get my face waxed. I work out at the gym. I come home. I panic. I clean. I panic. I arrange veggie trays, fruit bowls, cheese and olive trays, olive tapenades, chunks of bread, blocks of cream cheese smothered in cranberry-orange chutney. I liberally sprinkle the house with bowls of nuts, pretzels, M&Ms, and Hershey miniatures. I fill vases with cranberries and insert votive candles. I set the table complete with gold charger plates and the Pottery Barn reindeer napkin rings. The decorating has calmed me until I realize don't have enough wine glasses. I panic. I also realize I never started the Italian bread in the bread machine and now there isn't enough time. I call neighbor for wine glasses. I call Steve to pick up bread on the way home. I panic. I shower. I put on planned-for beautiful white blouse. I try to button blouse. Somehow my fat has re-distributed itself and now I am Chesty Laroue. Blouse won't button. I panic. I'm sweating. No Tom's of Maine natural deodorant for me today folks, I need Secret Platinum. I try on beautiful plum colored wrap shirt. My cleavage explodes out the top. I settle for plain green sweater and wear my apron over top (you know, the one with the big center pocket) trying to look more festive, or at least like I'm cooking instead of just re-heating. I use enough shimmer eye shadow to blind the unsuspecting and I go downstairs. People begin to arrive. No brie en croute yet. No wine glasses. I force everyone to go on a tour of my house. I reward them with alcohol and urge them to consume my 14 appetizers. People smile. People drink. People talk. They shuffle. No one looks comfortable. No one eats! Brie en croute arrives. Its arrival creates a little buzz but still no one eats. I eat. I have nervously consumed 2 glasses of wine and 1500 carrots. I am buzzing and slightly orange. No one eats. Finally I start proclaiming about how good this appetizer is and how glad I am that my neighbor made the Brie en croute and I cut it open. The brie oozes beautifully, the sugared cranberries glisten, pastry is flaky, the almonds flow out tantalizingly. I take a big scoop. Another guest, watching my over-the-top-blissful performance does the same. He raves. Then his wife takes a bite. She raves. Finally, after an hour and a half, my guests are eating! After they begin to eat the party begins to flow. The alcohol consumption is doubled, the laughter begins, the shuffling ceases and we have a great party. A great party, all because of Brie en Croute. See why it's a Grace?

Okay, 36 Graces. Not 49, like I should have to be perfect, but when have I been perfect? A good showing. Enough to illustrate that my life is full: full of laughter, love, mishaps, embarrassing moments, and frustrations. And I am Grateful.