This blog chronicles my life as I try to balance healthy lifestyle habits with my husband's penchant for pizza rolls and my daughter's desire to watch iCarly 8 hours a day. It contains a mostly humorous, kind, and somewhat spiritual look at everyday life and the people who live it.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I have been training for 11 years. Ever since my darling infant baby girl first began going into apoplectic shock the second I stepped foot into the shower, I took up the art of Speed Bathing. And I'm finding that it's a hard habit to break.
What began as a sanity-saving-get-in-and-get-out-before-that-child-bursts-a-blood-vessel necessity has morphed into a reckless-do-I-really-need-to-shave-those-legs-today race that is fueled primarily by procrastination with a healthy dose of poor planning thrown in for good measure.
I don't tend to leisurely enjoy my toilette.
I intend to. I really do. I have purchased fluffy towels, yummy-smelling-soaps, a PVC-free shower curtain liner, decadent shampoos, and expensive razors. I have my Burt's Bees Royal Jelly Body Lotion strategically positioned on the counter so after my shower I can take a moment and moisturize. I have my razor blade suction-cupped to the shower stall where it won't get wet. I even bought the girlie shaving cream. I go into the shower with all good intentions to pamper, primp, exfoliate, shave, and condition. That is, I go into the shower with those intentions oh, about once a week. The problem is that the rest of the week I go into the shower with T minus 31 minutes until I have to: 1. pick up my daughter from school or 2. be at an appointment that why I didn't just schedule it 15 minutes later I don't know, but that's poor planning for you or 3. Steve is about to burst a blood vessel because instead of showering (like he thought I was doing) I was reading blogs and/or searching for Google Images, so now I have to get showered, blown dry, and dressed before he finishes eating toast.
Here is how it usually happens: I get home from the gym. I intend to immediately shower so my back doesn't break out from contact with my sweaty sports bra. I turn on the water. The phone rings. I have to look to see who is calling because it could be my daughter's school and therefore an emergency. It's Debbie. Or Chellie. I decide to talk for a minute while the water heats up. (These are very interesting women and if you talked to them you wouldn't be able to talk for a minute either, so no judging please). I realize bathroom is filled with steam. I feel guilty and turn water off. I decide to unload/reload dishwasher while chatting, thus being productive. I fold laundry. I make beds. I hang up coats. I straighten cushions and throw pillows. Conversation ends. I really need to shower but look, there is my computer! I'll just quickly check to see if I have any comments on my blog then I'll take my shower. Hey, someone commented! I'll write back so they know I appreciate them. Oh look, one of the blogs I follow has a new entry. I read. I follow links. I find funny youtube video. I email funny youtube video to friends and family. I remember I haven't sent any e-cards lately. I begin perusing e-cards. I send some out. Wait, don't I have a new bill in my email? I read emails. I pay bills. I glance at clock on computer: 2:15!!! I have to pick up my daughter at 2:45!!! I race upstairs, turn on water while pulling off now-stiff-with-dried-sweat sports bra. I jump in shower with water still cold. I shampoo quickly. No time to rinse and repeat!! I mash some conditioner around and soap up. Yes I really need to shave my legs but I don't have time!!! I dry off. Yes I really need to moisturize my alligator skin but I don't have time!!! I blast my hair with a blow dryer while brushing my teeth. I slap mineral make-up on with one hand while pulling out clean clothes with the other. I throw on clothes, grab keys, phone, and coat and run out the door with 2 minutes to spare.
Gold medal caliber I tell you, Gold medal...