This blog chronicles my life as I try to balance healthy lifestyle habits with my husband's penchant for pizza rolls and my daughter's desire to watch iCarly 8 hours a day. It contains a mostly humorous, kind, and somewhat spiritual look at everyday life and the people who live it.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Stress is my choice, not my reality

I'm going to post this sign on my front door!

Right now my life feels chaotic: schedules are colliding, I'm out of laundry detergent with one load left to go, my daughter is home from school with a headache, tuition is due soon and I think I spent the money on 18 dinners out, 1 Nook, a Boston Duck Tour, 4 new pairs of workout pants, and a complete Aeropostale summer wardrobe for my daughter.  Oh, and new uniforms for the very school that now wants more money.  I've broken up with New Stylist Lisa because my haircut is awful and the color slightly orange.  I'm still recovering from a toe injury (I know, I can't believe I mentioned the toe again either), I haven't mailed any Mother's Day cards, and I picked a zit located right in the middle of my cheek so much that it has scarred.

Yoga would probably help if I wasn't too stressed out to do yoga, that is.

Sugar, oh that sweet miracle of distraction, would probably help too but since I don't eat sugar anymore...oh who am I kidding, I've downed so much sugar lately that a mosquito that bit me went into diabetic shock.

So I feel angry with myself because after 4 months of sugar free living (again) I fell off the wagon at a birthday party last Sunday when I told myself "oh, one little piece of cake isn't going to derail me."  Wrong! One little piece of cake, one sip of my daughter's rootbeer float, 4 Newman's Own fake Oreos, and one bowl of apple crisp (topped with a disgusting amount of Ready Whip) later (you may substitute the word HUGE into any of those descriptions for accuracy), I feel headache-y myself.  (Side note: if any other addicts are out there please chime in and let me know I'm not the only one who struggles with this!)

So back to simplicity I go.  Straighten the house.  Begin another new box for charitable donations as the last one was just picked up.  Go through the mound of papers on my desk, recycle or shred/recycle most of them.  File the others.  Take out the trash.  Put away the 8 pairs of shoes scattered around the kitchen, dining room, and hall.  Make the bed.  Open the windows.  Take a deep breath.  Drink a cup of green tea.  And start again.

I haven't eaten any sugar today and I've been up since 5:15a.m. so that's a good start.  I can manage our schedules, buy detergent tomorrow, pay monthly on the tuition, find a new stylist, heal my toe, e-card my mother and mother-in-law (I can always claim being green rather than being a procrastinator), and put concealer on my zit-scar.  That's the beauty of life: every moment that we are alive is a moment of choice.  I was choosing stress, thus releasing massive amounts of adrenaline into my system which will only serve to add lines to my now-scarred face.  Stress also pumps cortisol into our bodies which increases the craving for sugar and encourages our bodies to retain fat.  Now I'm choosing simple, peace-inducing, one-task-at-a-time thoughts which increase serotonin and oxytocin levels in my brain which helps my body sleep well at night, regulate my metabolism during the day, and quiets cravings.

What choice will you make?


Deb said...

whew! Don't you feel better getting that all out!?
You are not alone in the sugar binging- it's a struggle everyday...
Deep breaths-my friend- it's winding down.

Beth said...

Deb blogging is so much cheaper than therapy but probably just as effective.

BTW I will be calling the Pier 1 Imports rep tomorrow to see what they have to say. I'll update you soon!

Anonymous said...

Let's just see here. I bought two count them two BIG bags of plain and peanut m&m's after Easter not dark chocolate that is healthier(lol) for you but the good ole milk chocolate. Struggle just doesn't get it and to look at D you would never know she struggles with it as she is the fashion goddess and always looks classy. Me on the other hand...well I'll just stop there and say B...please don't ever feel alone when it comes to falling off the healthy wagon.

karen@fitnessjourney said...

Thinking about everything that needs to be done can stress me out too. It will all get done and you can always delegate a few things too. After all, you just bought your daughter a new wardrobe, the least you can expect is a little help around the house, right?

Hope your sugar withdrawal goes well. I always get major bouts of fatigue from sugar.

Karen@WaistingTime said...

I just found your blog and laughed at the fact that I am from Boston but now live in the Midwest! The opposite of your journey:) 4 months without sugar is amazing!

Beth said...

Welcome Karen@WaistingTime, I've seen your comments many times on other sites and feel honored that you stopped by. Thanks! Beth