This blog chronicles my life as I try to balance healthy lifestyle habits with my husband's penchant for pizza rolls and my daughter's desire to watch iCarly 8 hours a day. It contains a mostly humorous, kind, and somewhat spiritual look at everyday life and the people who live it.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Okay, so now what?
I don't know the answers to any of these questions. Right now I tell the absolute unvarnished truth, using real names, with a vague geographical location to identify me. My husband thinks I should use nicknames, he'd like to be known as "Spanky" but I think I'll stick to calling him "Steve." Steve does read my blog and has, in fact, confronted me on a couple of things he has read. My immediate reaction after I realized he was following the blog was to begin censoring. I felt constrained, watched, conspicuous, vulnerable, and a lot nervous about what he would "think" about me. I spoke with Deb about all those feelings and she said "so what, it's your blog. He can write a rebuttal blog if he wants, this is for you." I think there's a lot of wisdom in that and so I am persevering, still blogging, and committing to as honest a stream of consciousness as I can provide.
I'm still a little nervous. Especially now that Deb has my blog linked to hers, other people may see this...
Isn't that the point of a blog?
Well, that is another choice bloggers need to make. Why am I blogging? What do I hope to achieve with this blog? Who is my intended audience? Will I tell anyone about this blog?
The short answer is I am blogging because I enjoy it. I enjoy writing, I enjoy examining my life in a series of short stories, vignettes if you will. I don't have an intended audience, though I think the people who will be most drawn to what I write are women as I am drawn to women authors myself.
The biggest question for me right now is "will I tell anyone about this blog?" I haven't yet admitted to blogging, except to my husband and daughter. I haven't told my friend Chellie. I haven't told any family members. I haven't told other friends or acquaintances. I have so enjoyed blogging that it feels slightly dishonest not sharing this new interest with those close to me, but I am reluctant to "out" myself. Once I know that many people who know me are reading, I think I will feel less spontaneous and definitely more censored. I need to work on thickening my skin and strengthening my resolve before I am ready to share this part of myself. I know that Deb understands because she is putting herself out there too, blogging, sharing herself in a unique way, (to read Deb's blog, go to http://www.itiswhatitis.typepad.com/). But will others understand? I suppose there is only one way to find out...
...So onward and hopefully upward. Happy November everyone!