Anniversaries

I am coming up on an anniversary soon. Not my wedding anniversary, or anything else that would be celebrated with a card, a gift, a public recognition. This is an anniversary that I am probably the only one who will remember. It is a day that changed the trajectory of my life and continues to make an impact upon me, yet no one, even my husband who was there, who felt the world sway beneath him, remembers this day unless reminded.

I cannot remember the date of my high school graduation. Or my college.

I cannot remember the exact date my husband proposed to me. I know it was Sweetest Day, but since the date for that Hallmark Holiday changes each year, the exact date has been lost to me

I cannot remember the exact date I found out that I was pregnant. I remember taking the test. I remember calling my husband at work. I remember coming home from work and my husband saying “Welcome home, both of you!” I remember it was in July.

I cannot remember the date of my first day of my first job or even my last job.

I can’t even give an approximation of the date, let alone the month, that I lost my virginity.

But I do know the date when I started my period, closed on my dream house, my husband lost his job, my husband found a new job, my parents’ divorce became final, my sister left my house in a rage and hasn’t really spoken with me since. I remember my daughter’s due date, and then the amended due date. I remember the date of my first baby shower. I remember the day I thought my life was ending and I remember the day I realized I would survive.

Anniversaries are funny because they are so subjective. When is your anniversary? someone may ask, and of course we give them the date of our wedding.

What we really should say is “which one?”