Pity Party or Mardi Gras?

Last week I had no posts. No weekly wellbeing. No grace. Nada. What was I doing, you may ask? Well I was wallowing in self pity of course! I couldn't take time away from my own personal pity party to write, I had to concentrate on financial ruin! Single car-dom! Homelessness!

But like all parties, this one had to end, the house had to be cleaned up, and life had to go on.

I was recently telling my husband that I'm the one you want in a crisis. I'm the calm, cool, collected character who can stop the bleeding, pack up the house, bake the 4 dozen cupcakes, or pay the bill. It's after the crisis that I fall apart. Sometimes it's so long since the crisis has taken place that even I don't immediately understand why I am falling apart. In this case, it has taken me 5.5 months to really feel the move from Ohio to Massachusetts. Last week, I felt it. Usually in these situations where I might have uncomfortable feelings I like to self-medicate with sugar. Enough chocolatey-goodness and I can't remember ever having had a bad feeling. This year I've decided that I'm just going to see what life would be like without sugar.

Well, it's not good, I can tell you that much.

I haven't returned to sugar, but like any recovering addict I can tell you that I am taking it day by day, hour by hour and Dear Lord do I need a sponsor! And how did I get through, you may be wondering? Well, I'm glad you asked: I bitched. Almost nonstop. I bitched to Chellie. I bitched to Debbie. I bitched to Steve. I would have bitched to more people if I hadn't gotten their voicemail (perhaps the tone of my voice gave my intended topic away...). I sang the blues 'til even I couldn't stand the sound of my voice anymore. Steve had to spend so much time "talking" to me that he has had to play violent war games on the Wii every night for three days running just to recover. I feel a lot better though and I discovered that one way to ensure my own wellbeing is to occasionally have a little-bitch-fest, so I guess I did have a weekly wellbeing last week even without knowing it. AND I discovered how grateful I am for 2 friends and a husband who will by-god-listen-to-the-endless-litany and not hang up/leave the room. So I even discovered a hidden Grace during the week.

Still, I did begin to wonder how long I could keep the pity party up, I mean if it had gone on any longer I was going to have to hand out purple and green beads, flash my boobs, and call it Mardi Gras!