Went in for a foot injury, Came out with a breast exam

I don't want to give the impression that my doctor's visit didn't go well...BUT...I did go in for the sole purpose of having a medical professional examine my foot to determine if I have a ? (still no diagnosis, but I'll get to that) pulled tendon? stress fracture? plantar fascitis? Well, we may never know exactly what ails my foot because the medical professional I saw never even looked at my foot!

I should have known that things weren't going to go well for me when, after calling 10 doctors only to be told that they weren't accepting new patients or the first appointment available was in July, this old codger had an opening in just 2 days. There are some reasons an old established doctor is accepting new patients: 1. he is a bad doctor and most of his patients die; 2. he is a bad doctor and most of his new patients don't ever come back; 3. he is a bad doctor and only very old and very desperate people will go to him (see #1); or 4. he is a bad doctor and those "in the know" know it and won't go to him.

This wasn't a young guy, or a doctor new in the area, this was an old guy who'd been practicing in Massachusetts for 40 years. All of these things should have been clues. Needless to say, I was clueless.

I get to the office early: I know the drill, I'll be filling out 3-4 pages of medical history dating back to my maternal great-great-grandmother. But wait, no medical history, no HIPAA form, just a benign little one-page (in LARGE type) sheet for name, address, and insurance info. Hmmmm, curious...

Next I go in with the nurse who asks me to completely disrobe and put on a gown open in the back. For a foot issue? I'm supposed to get completely undressed so he can look at my foot?? She informs me that the doctor won't see any new patients without having a baseline physical on them. OOOOOOOkay. I disrobe. Then she hooks up electrodes to me and gives me an EKG. She says its routine for all patients over 30. OOOOOOkay. Then she draws some blood, gets my blood pressure, and leaves the room.

In comes the doctor. He spends a very long time asking all of the detailed medical history questions that are usually asked on a form. He seems a little disappointed that I don't have any genetic abnormalities (well, medical abnormalities), and asks me why I'm there. I point to my taped and braced foot. I explain the problem. He essentially blows that off and says to keep doing what I'm doing and if it gets worse after a week or two, call his office and schedule an X-ray. Then he says he'll finish the rest of my new patient physical. He listens to my heart.

That's it. He doesn't look in my throat, my ears, my nose, ask me to follow his finger, test my reflexes or even take my temp. Just a little heart listening. He does however ask me to take down my gown so it barely covers my chest while he "feels around for awhile" for "any lumps or abnormalities." Now I'll admit, this didn't quite creep me out as much at the time as it has upon reflection. It wasn't until hours later that I realized hey, he didn't even check my throat! How dare he go straight for the medical-feel-up without even so much as a quick throat check!? And while I am no stranger to a breast exam, I haven't had one performed without a nurse in the office in probably 20 years!

I think this graduated-last-in-his-class-from-medical-school-pervert just charged my insurance company to feel me up! I think I just paid a $15 copay so some old guy could entertain himself. And again, I cannot boggle enough about this:

He never even looked at my foot!