Home is where the heart is

We just returned from an 8 day whirlwind visit to Ohio. Ohio has been home to me for about 37 years. I have lived all over Ohio, but almost always in Ohio. Ohio is home, right? I guess it's true that you can never go back, because being in Ohio felt familiar, but not homey. We went first to Toledo, our most recent home for the past 4 years. I loved driving on the smooth pavement, seeing the clearly marked streets and knowing where every street went, and how to get all the places I needed to be, but mostly I just loved seeing Deb and all my friends. I loved being in Deb's kitchen. I loved sitting in her den. I loved riding around in her van. Mostly I just loved the people - the place had little meaning to me.

After Toledo we went to Cincinnati. Cincinnati was once my most favorite place in the world. I loved my house there, my friends, the city, the shopping, the weather, everything. Now, Cincinnati is just where Chellie lives. Once again, the place has lost its meaning to me. I love being at Chellie's house. I love the natural light, the tall ceilings, the food she cooks. I love the ease I feel from our long-standing friendship. I love how settled she is in her home.

Final stop on the tour was my mom's house. I was done. I wanted to go home. I honestly didn't want to stop, but I'm glad we did. I love my mom's house too. I love her yellow walls and bright red furniture. I love how her belongings, decorating, and even the way her house smells are slowly morphing into one of my all time favorite places in the world: my grandmother's house. I know my mom will not see this as a complement.

Then, finally, we were home. The house smelled old, musty, like wood and damp. It's not our house, but right now it is our home. It felt so good to be home. We took this trip for many reasons not the least of which was to help our daughter feel more at home in Massachusetts by feeling not at home in Ohio. It worked. She couldn't wait to get home. She wanted to stay in all day on Sunday and just enjoy being home. I had gotten so used to thinking about how much I don't know in Massachusetts that I had lost track of how I much I do know. I do know which grocery store is my favorite. I do have a favorite dry cleaner, library, post office, and bookstore. I am creating a life here and it took leaving it for awhile to make me see that.

Ohio is a nice place to visit...but I wouldn't want to live there.